Gottman's 7 Principles of Successful Relationships
After 40 years doing research on couples in their lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman have found that successful relationships tend to have certain things in common that can be learned and improved on in therapy with the help of The Gottman Method tools.
- Solve your solvable problems. All couples have solvable and perpetual problems, but long-term couples solve those they can and understand there will always be perpetual problems.
- Overcome gridlock. What often underlies perpetual problems are unfulfilled dreams. Talk about those dreams with the goal of making peace with the problem.
- Create Shared Meaning. Develop the big and small rituals that help build the bond between with your partner.
- Let your partner influence you. You shouldn't make important life decisions autonomously, as a single person would.
- Turn toward your partner instead of away during times of stress.
- Nature fondness and admiration. You have a positive view and deep appreciation for your partner, and express it.
- Enhance your love maps. You know all of your partners relevant information, from life dreams to favorite movies, as a best friend would.