Gottman's 7 Principles of Successful Relationships
After 40 years doing research on couples in their lab, Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman have found that successful relationships tend to have certain things in common that can be learned and improved on in therapy with the help of The Gottman Method tools.
- Solve your solvable problems. All couples have solvable and perpetual problems, but long-term couples solve those they can and understand there will always be perpetual problems.
- Overcome gridlock. What often underlies perpetual problems are unfulfilled dreams. Talk about those dreams with the goal of making peace with the problem.
- Create Shared Meaning. Develop the big and small rituals that help build the bond between and your partner.
- Let your partner influence you. Making important life decisions as a couple helps strengthen the bond for increased resilience during times of stress.
- Turn toward your partner instead of away during times of stress.
- Nature fondness and admiration. Cultivate a positive view and deep appreciation for your partner as well as learn to express it.
- Enhance your love maps. Learn you about your partner by getting to know them all over again.